Ok amazing people, who has boundary issues? *raises her own hand*
This is something I have struggled with for years, I'm outspoken and opinionated, I love to talk about my life, I'm open and vulnerable. I fall too soon, run forth bleeding vulnerability at people who I should be running away from and at times cross the lines of appropriate conversation because I haven't quite gauged my audience. I also have a history of trauma, know I have also crossed the lines of comfort in terms of conversation, even physical touch and have made a bunch of bad choices.
Boundaries I struggle with.
The next few weeks I'll be looking at boundaries, comfort, consent, over sharing, vulnerability and resilience.
First, lets look at the word: Boundaries (Thanks Google)
'Border' and 'dividing line' really stick out for me here. It seems a tool of separation by definition.
Let's try 'Personal Boundaries' (Thanks Wikipedia)
- I know, I know, only the highest quality sources of information here.
The words that pop out for me here are 'guidelines', 'creates' and 'reasonable'. Suggesting something that is fluid or changeable, created (not innate) and also there seems to be an element of social acceptance, 'the norm' or at least perceptions around reasonable. I'm sure the lawyers amongst you must be totting up the hours based on what reasonable actually means here.
So with these two clearly foolproof definitions in our back pockets, we can start to unpack the meaning of boundaries.
Some of the things I want us to look at are;
- are all boundaries healthy/helpful?
- what happens when boundaries are crossed?
- are boundaries fixed or adaptable?
- when do we start to learn boundaries?
- how do we create boundaries?
- how do boundaries, consent and respect all fit together?
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